5 Questions to Ask Before Making a Big Decision

You're about to make a big decision.

Maybe you already know what it is — the job change, the relationship, the move, the ministry, the leap. Or maybe you're staring at a fork in the road and both paths look equally terrifying.

Before you decide — before you commit, sign, quit, or say yes — ask these five questions. They won't make the decision for you. But they'll make sure you're deciding for the right reasons.

1. Am I Running Toward Something — or Away From Something?

This is the most important question. Ask it first.

Running toward looks like clarity, vision, a sense of calling, and excitement mixed with healthy fear. Running away looks like desperation, escape, impulsiveness, and urgency without a real destination.

Both can feel like urgency. The source is different.

Jonah ran from his calling. Abraham ran toward his. The external behavior looked similar — movement — but the direction was opposite. If you'd be willing to stay in place once the discomfort eased, you're running away. If the pull persists even after the discomfort lifts, you're running toward.

If you're making this decision primarily to escape something uncomfortable, pause. Discomfort isn't always a signal to leave — sometimes it's a signal to grow where you are. But if you genuinely sense God calling you forward — even though it scares you — that's different. Fear and calling often travel together.

2. What Does Wise Counsel Actually Say?

Not your most supportive friend. Not the person who always agrees with you. Not social media. Wise counsel — a mentor, a pastor, a mature believer with experience and no personal stake in your decision.

Share your decision with 2-3 wise people. Tell them the full picture — not just the version that supports what you already want to do. Then listen. If every wise person says go, go with confidence. If every wise person says wait, take that seriously. If they're split, you need more information.

One caveat: counsel is input, not a vote. You are still responsible for the decision. But making a major decision without outside perspective is like driving with your eyes closed.

3. If I Removed Fear, What Would I Do?

Fear distorts decisions. It makes safe options look wise and bold options look foolish. So remove it temporarily, as a thought experiment.

• If I were not afraid of failure — what would I choose?
• If I were not afraid of what people would think — what would I do?
• If money were not a factor — where would I go?

Your answer reveals what you actually want underneath the fear. That doesn't mean the fearless option is automatically right. But it shows you what your heart is saying when fear isn't shouting over it.

Then ask the second question: is this fear the kind I should push through, or the kind I should listen to? Fear of failure, judgment, and discomfort — push through. Fear based on specific, concrete dangers — heed it. For a longer treatment, see how to overcome fear of the future.

4. What Will I Regret More — Doing This or Not Doing It?

Project yourself forward five years.

Scenario A. You made the decision. It's five years later. What does your life look like? How do you feel? Did you grow? Did it produce fruit?

Scenario B. You didn't make the decision. It's five years later. You're still where you are now. How do you feel? Do you regret not taking the chance?

Most people don't regret the things they did. They regret the things they didn't do.

If Scenario B fills you with regret, that's a signal. The fear of regret is often a more reliable compass than the fear of failure.

5. Have I Given God Enough Time to Speak?

This isn't about waiting indefinitely. It's about not rushing the conversation.

Have you actually prayed about this — not once in the shower, but sustained, honest, open-handed prayer? Have you sat in silence long enough to hear an answer? Have you read Scripture looking for wisdom, not just confirmation of what you already decided?

God gives wisdom generously. But you have to ask. And then you have to listen.

If you've prayed and the answer is clear — act. Delayed obedience is disobedience. If you've prayed and the answer is unclear — keep praying. Give God time. He isn't slow; He is thorough. For practical guidance, how to pray for direction goes deeper.

The Bonus Question: Is This a Door God Opened?

Look at the circumstances around your decision. Did this opportunity appear without you forcing it? Did the timing align in a way you couldn't have engineered? Did multiple unrelated events converge to point the same direction?

God opens doors, and the circumstances often confirm what the Spirit is already saying. But be careful: an open door doesn't automatically mean you should walk through it. Test it against the five questions above. A door opened by God will survive all five. For more on recognizing God's direction, see how to know if God is leading you.

When You've Asked Everything and Still Don't Know

If you've worked through all five questions honestly and still can't decide, here's permission: just choose.

Not recklessly — faithfully. Make the best decision you can with the information you have, commit it to God, and trust Him with the outcome.

You devise. He directs. Your job is to move. His job is to steer. For a deeper framework, see how to make decisions as a Christian.

A Practical Next Step

If part of the decision is uncertainty about yourself — your wiring, your gifts, what's actually blocking you — CallingTest is a free guided experience that helps you name those things honestly so you can decide more clearly. A starting point for clarity, not a substitute for prayer, Scripture, or godly counsel. About 10 minutes. No email. No cost.

Take the free Calling Test →