5 Questions to Ask Before Making a Big Decision

You are about to make a big decision.

Maybe you already know what it is. The job change. The relationship. The move. The ministry. The business. The leap.

Or maybe you are staring at a fork in the road and both paths look equally terrifying.

Before you decide — before you commit, sign, quit, or say yes — ask these five questions. They will not make the decision for you. But they will make sure you are deciding for the right reasons.

Question 1: "Am I Running Toward Something or Away from Something?"

This is the most important question. Ask it first.

Running toward looks like: clarity, excitement mixed with healthy fear, a sense of calling, a vision for what could be.

Running away looks like: desperation, escape, impulsiveness, a need to get out without knowing where you are going.

Both can feel like urgency. But the source is different.

Jonah ran from his calling. Abraham ran toward his. The external behavior — movement — looked the same. The direction was opposite.

If you are making this decision primarily to escape something uncomfortable, pause. Discomfort is not always a signal to leave. Sometimes it is a signal to grow where you are.

If you are making this decision because you genuinely sense God calling you forward — even though it scares you — that is different. Fear and calling often travel together.

Question 2: "What Does Wise Counsel Say?"

Not your most supportive friend. Not the person who always agrees with you. Not social media.

A wise counselor. A mentor. A pastor. Someone with experience, maturity, and no personal stake in your decision.

"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." (Proverbs 11:14, KJV)

Share your decision with 2-3 wise people. Tell them the full picture — not just the version that supports what you want to do. Then listen.

If every wise person says "go" — go with confidence. If every wise person says "wait" — take that seriously. If they are split — you need more information.

One warning: counsel is input, not a vote. You are still responsible for the decision. But making a big decision without outside perspective is like driving with your eyes closed.

Question 3: "If I Remove Fear from the Equation, What Would I Do?"

Fear distorts decisions. It makes safe options look wise and bold options look foolish.

So remove it temporarily. Just as a thought experiment.

If you were not afraid of failure — what would you choose? If you were not afraid of what people would think — what would you do? If money were not a factor — where would you go?

Your answer reveals what you actually want — underneath the fear. That does not mean the fearless option is always right. But it shows you what your heart is saying when fear is not shouting over it.

Then ask: "Is this fear the kind I should push through? Or the kind I should listen to?"

Fear of failure, judgment, and discomfort — push through. Fear based on specific, concrete dangers — listen to.

For more on this distinction, read How to Overcome Fear of the Future.

Question 4: "What Will I Regret More — Doing This or Not Doing It?"

Project yourself forward five years.

Scenario A: You made the decision. It is five years later. What does your life look like? How do you feel? Did you grow? Did it produce fruit?

Scenario B: You did not make the decision. It is five years later. You are still where you are now. How do you feel? Do you regret not taking the chance?

Most people do not regret the things they did. They regret the things they did not do.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7, KJV)

If Scenario B fills you with regret — that is a signal. The fear of regret is often a more reliable compass than the fear of failure.

Question 5: "Have I Given God Enough Time to Speak?"

This is not about waiting indefinitely. It is about not rushing.

Have you actually prayed about this — not once in the shower, but sustained, honest, open-handed prayer?

Have you sat in silence long enough for God to answer?

Have you read Scripture looking for wisdom — not just confirmation of what you already decided?

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (James 1:5, KJV)

God gives wisdom generously. But you have to ask. And then you have to listen.

If you have prayed and the answer is clear — act. Delayed obedience is disobedience.

If you have prayed and the answer is unclear — keep praying. Give God time. He is not slow — He is thorough.

For practical guidance on this, read How to Pray for Direction.

The Bonus Question: "Is This a Door God Opened?"

Look at the circumstances around your decision.

Did this opportunity appear without you forcing it? Did the timing align in a way you could not have engineered? Did multiple unrelated events converge to point in the same direction?

God opens doors. And when He does, the circumstances often confirm what the Spirit is already saying.

But be careful: an open door does not automatically mean you should walk through it. Test it against the five questions above. A door opened by God will survive all five.

For more on recognizing God's direction, read How to Know if God Is Leading You.

When You Have Asked the Questions and Still Do Not Know

If you have gone through all five questions honestly and still cannot decide, here is permission:

Just choose.

Not recklessly. But faithfully. Make the best decision you can with the information you have, commit it to God, and trust Him with the outcome.

"The heart of man deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps." (Proverbs 16:9, KJV)

You devise. He directs. Your job is to move. His job is to steer.

For a deeper framework, read How to Make Decisions as a Christian.

A Prayer Before a Big Decision

Lord, I am standing at a crossroads.

The decision in front of me is big. The stakes are real. And I do not want to choose wrong.

But I trust You. I trust that You are sovereign over my decisions — even the imperfect ones. I trust that You can redirect me if I veer off course. I trust that You love me too much to let me wander permanently.

Give me wisdom. Give me courage. Give me peace.

And when I decide — go with me.

Amen.

A Practical Next Step

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